Instant Messaging with the Cullens
by Breakdown Pessimist
Summary: now, re-continued. "is he constipated?" do not report me. theres hundreds of these things. i will just find a reason to report you. lol.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Cullens! If I did, I would NOT be here writing this. I would be making out with Jasper! I just own the AIM usernames, kind of. Sorry if I use the same username as you, it's not intended.**

**Author's Note: I know that everyone has done one of these, but I just had to make one! Oh and makesure you pay attention to the list of who is who, because im only posting the names on chapter 1. Sorry! And ALSO, each person wont be in EVERY chapter. And USUALLY edward and bella are at the cottage on laptops, alice and jasper on laptops in their room, etc. But people like seth and jacob are at their houses, mike and jessica are at their houses, etc.**

* * *

**_AIM with the Cullens_**

_Edward- SparkleBoy_

_Bella- stupidlamb_

_Emmett- HERmonkeyman_

_Rosalie- HISbarbie_

_Alice- pixiestixx_

_Jasper- chillpill_

_Carlisle- DrSexy_

_Esme- mommaMia_

_Jacob- SureSure_

_Seth- woof_

_Jane- GotPain_

_Aro- zombie_

_Mike- ilyarizona_

_Jessica- ilym_

* * *

SparkleBoy has signed in.

stupidlamb has signed in.

pixiestixx has signed in.

ilyarizona has signed in.

ilym has signed in.

SureSure has signed in.

SparkleBoy- hey everyone

ilyarizona- hey bella!

stupidlamb- hey newton

SparkleBoy- ...

pixiestixx- should I get Jasper?

stupidlamb- nah its fine alice. i just kissed him and he calmed down

ilyarizona- ugh!

SparkleBoy- constipated?

pixiestixx- hah! lmao

stupidlamb- shut it edward, lol

SureSure- bells?

stupidlamb- yeah jake?

SureSure- wanna go cliff diving later?

pixiestixx- were going hunting

ilym- Bella? Hunting? Rosalie, hunting? Yeah right!

stupidlamb- oh yeah! hunting! sorry jake. and yes we hunt jess.

ilyarizona- really?

SparkleBoy- yes! all of us hunt! gah

chillpill has signed in.

stupidlamb- hey jasper

SparkleBoy- hey jazz

chillpill- hey guys. hows ness?

stupidlamb- HUMANS!

chillpill- oh... sorry

ilym- Who is Ness?

ilyarizona- yeah, whos ness?

stupidlamb- um... the lochness monster! yeah... were into that stuff...

SparkleBoy- good save

stupidlamb- thanks :)

SparkleBoy- your welcome love

ilyarizona- ugh!

chillpill- is he constipated?

pixiestixx- hah! lmao jazzy! edward said that earlier!

SureSure- im hungry! grrrrr

HISbarbie has signed in.

HISbarbie- go eat out of that doggy bowl i made you, fiddo

ilyarizona- you made him a doggy bowl?

SureSure- I HAVE A JOKE! okay, there was a red head, a brunette, and a blonde. they robbed a bank then went up on the roof. the cops surrounded the building. the red head said, "look! a tornado!" then the cops looked to see it, and she ran away. the brunette said, "a tsunami!" so the cops looked and she ran away. the blonde said "fire!" and they shot her

SparkleBoy- hah. funny.

pixiestixx- thats actually funny! lol

chillpill- im a blonde...

SureSure- sorry jasper, well i havta go. bye guys

stupidlamb- youre so goofy jake, bye

SureSure has signed off.

ilym- Bella! When are you gonna visit me?! Forks is lonely without you!

ilyarizona- yeah arizona, come visit

stupidlamb- soon. i have to see dad anyway. but i must warn you, i look ALOT different now. i talk different too, and my eye color is different.

ilyarizona- what do you look like now?

pixiestixx- she looks like us!

HISbarbie- yep, shes GORGEOUS!

stupidlamb- aww thanks rose

SparkleBoy- Isabella Marie Swan Cullen, the lochness monster is kinda missing!

stupidlamb- kinda?! wtf?! g2g guys! ily!

SparkleBoy has signed off.

stupidlamb has signed off.

pixiestixx- we should go help look, bye

chillpill- later

HISbarbie- bye

HISbarbie has signed off.

pixiestixx has signed off.

chillpill has signed off.

ilyarizona- i wonder why his name is chill pill...

ilym- Yeah. Well bye Mikey! I have to go! Text me later.

ilyarizona- okay bye jess

ilyarizona has signed off.

ilym has signed off.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: decided to post the usernames on every chapter, so just ignore the authors note on chapter 1 (: lol. Not that funny… but its just a plot for the time being. Enjoy(:

* * *

**AIM with the Cullen's**

Edward- SparkleBoy

Bella- stupidlamb

Emmett- HERmonkeyman

Rosalie- HISbarbie

Alice- pixiestixx

Jasper- chillpill

Carlisle- DrSexy

Esme- mommaMia

Jacob- SureSure

Seth- woof

Jane- GotPain

Aro- zombie

Mike- ilyarizona

Jessica- ilym

* * *

Stupidlamb has signed in.

SparkleBoy has signed in.

Pixiestixx has signed in.

DrSexy has signed in.

Pixiestixx- Bella, did you ever get that dress I ordered for you?

Stupidlamb- yes Alice. And yes it fits great.

Pixiestixx- Yay! Wait, how did you know I would ask that?

SparkleBoy- don't you always ask that, Alice?

DrSexy- Edward, Renesmee is looking for you.

Stupidlamb- awh J such a daddy's girl!

GotPain has signed in.

Pixiestixx- we need to take her shopping, bella! She's growing out of everything.

GotPain- the Volturi would be glad to give the child some clothes. At a small price.

Stupidlamb- no thanks, but what price?

Pixiestixx- how did you even get our chat url, jane?

GotPain- give us the child. We know her abilities. And I just smiled at a few people who gladly found the information for me.

SparkleBoy- get the hell out of here Jane.

DrSexy- now, now Edward. Hello, jane. How are you and alec?

GotPain- we are fine, thank you Carlisle.

SureSure has signed in.

SureSure- get out of here bitch, damn.

Pixiestixx- lol.

HISbarbie has signed in.

Stupidlamb- lmao

SparkleBoy- hahaha

DrSexy- Jacob, calm down… lol

GotPain- handle your mutt.

HISbarbie- I have been saying that for years.

Pixiestixx- oh shush rose, and go take some midol.

Stupidlamb- alice… that kinda doesn't even happen to us…

Pixiestixx- I know bella… its an expression.

SureSure- haha dumb vampire

Stupidlamb- shut up jake. Dog.

GotPain has signed off.

SparkleBoy- THANK YOU!

DrSexy- Edward…

SparkleBoy- yes?

DrSexy- take the garbage out, would you?

SureSure- hah!

Stupidlamb- I told you to shut up jake.

DrSexy has signed off.

HISbarbie- lmao!

Pixiestixx- rose, renesmee just came in here. Spilled blood on my new stilettos, and asked where you were.

Stupidlamb- awhh, she loves her aunt rose.

HISbarbie- but apparently not aunt alice's shoes!

Pixiestixx- now you can go shut up right along with Jacob.

Chillpill has signed in.

Chillpill- ohh harsh.

SparkleBoy- hey where's Emmett and Esme?

Stupidlamb- I think they went hunting. They should be back any minute though.

Ilyarizona has signed in.

Ilyarizona- hey bella

Stupidlamb- hey mikey

Ilyarizona- uhm who is renesmee and why did she spill blood? Is she okay? Why are you calling her daddy's girl? That is NOT the lochness monster!

Pixiestixx- its uh… bella's dog! Yeah we bought her a dog and named her renesmee. We call her ness or nessie sometimes cause you know we love the lochness!

Stupidlamb- really? Our dog? Thanks.

HISbarbie- hey bella atleast you don't have a kid…

Stupidlamb- yeah.

Ilyarizona- im confused,

SureSure- haha! Looks like im not the only one in the dog house now! J

HERmonkeyman has signed in.

HERmonkeyman- EDWARD! OMG! I just came in with esme, and HANNAH MONTANA FOREVER is on tv! Jasper is already down here! Come on you're going to miss the theme song!

SparkleBoy has signed off and left this message: Coming!

HERmonkeyman has signed off.

Ilyarizona: ?

SureSure: oh yeah bells, im so afraid of them. Im sure they can hurt me. Oohhh.

Stupidlamb: shut the hell up mutt.

Pixiestixx- ohh. Burnnn. Haha

Ilyarizona- hah!

HISbarbie- I have to agree… they have become much less manly since ness came

Stupidlamb- yeahhh… im ashamed…

Pixiestixx- come get ness! She is getting blood all over my room!

Stupidlamb- shit. Be right there!

SureSure- can I come see nessie after you guys clean that up? I really miss her…

Stupidlamb- ewww. Fine. Gotta go bye.

Stupidlamb has signed off.

SureSure has signed off and left this message: on my way to see my little beautiful J

Ilyarizona- why is your dog bleeding? And why does he miss your dog so much..?

Pixiestixx has signed off.

HISbarbie- dog has her menstrual cycle going on. Give her a break!

HISbarbie has signed off.

Ilyarizona- I think they are all on their period…

Ilyarizona has signed off.


End file.
